Speak Your Partner’s Love Language


Speak Your Partner’s Love Language

By Brooke Skrivanek January 19, 2022 01.19.2022 Share:
Communication Counseling Holidays Intentionality Relationships Therapy

Valentine’s Day can stir up some additional stress as we try to decipher the perfect way to show our partners we love and cherish them. Flowers, chocolates, and cards are always a safe bet… but what do we do when those sentiments start to fall flat? Stick with me here and we will explore more ways to speak your partner’s love language this Valentine’s Day (and every day)!

First, let’s start by exploring love languages. Researchers have found that there are 5 common love languages: Acts of Service, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Physical Touch, and Words of Affirmation. These languages are how we show and receive love. The trick is, not everyone shares the same love language… meaning you may be speaking a love language your partner does not understand! If you haven’t already, I would highly suggest reading Gary Chapman’s, The 5 Love Languages, book or taking the short online quiz with your partner to determine each other’s primary love language https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes. Knowing how your partner best receives love can open new doors to exploring and showing your affection for them.

If your partner’s primary love language is Acts of Service:

  • Make your partner’s favorite meal for them.
  • Complete a daily task or chore for your partner such as doing the laundry, vacuuming the home, or perhaps cleaning their car for them.
  • Surprise your partner by scheduling an activity for the two of you. Make sure to have the logistics lined out so your partner does not have to worry about things such as child care!

If your partner’s primary love language is Quality Time:

  • Turn off the electronics and spend the evening enjoying an activity together. Fun activities may include arts and crafts, board games, or relationship card games that help you and your partner deepen your connection.
  • Plan a date or a kid-free weekend for you and your partner.
  • Watch a movie that your partner enjoys that maybe you do not like as much. Yes, guys, I am looking at you, that romantic comedy isn’t all that bad!!

If your partner’s primary love language is Receiving Gifts:

  • Write your partner a love letter.
  • Get your partner a gift certificate to their favorite store, salon, or business.
  • Find an activity, game, or book that you can share with your partner.
  • Surprise your partner by having a treat, such as cookies or chocolate-covered strawberries, delivered to their workplace.

If your partner’s primary love language is Physical Touch:

  • Give your partner a massage.
  • Take your partner out dancing or schedule a private dance class for the two of you.
  • Cuddle up on the couch as you watch your partner’s favorite shows.

If your partner’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation:

  • Write down things you love about your partner on a sticky note and place them around the house.
  • Let your partner know you are thinking of them throughout your day by sending them a text expressing your love.
  • Earn bonus points by complimenting your partner in private and in public!

To speak your partner’s love language does not have to mean extravagant dates or gifts. You can incorporate your partner’s love language into daily activities such as holding their hand (physical touch), telling them that you are proud of them (words of affirmation), spending an hour or so doing an activity your partner enjoys (quality time), helping them do a chore (acts of service), or simply picking a flower from the sidewalk to give to your partner (receiving gifts). This Valentine’s Day show your partner you care by intentionally speaking your partner’s love language!

If you’d like to speak to Brooke about your relationship, click here.

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