Finding Peace and Healing After Loss

Finding Peace and Healing After Loss

Pain and loss is an inevitable part of life. It may involve the loss of a loved one, a beloved pet, the end of a relationship (including divorce), a long-distance move, losing a job, or any significant life experience that comes to an end.

Although every journey is unique, there are five fundamental steps that can help you move through this experience in a more conscious, compassionate, and healing way. This exercise works best by journaling, using paper and pen. The simple act of handwriting creates a deep emotional connection with yourself and allows for honest, meaningful inner communication.

1. GRATITUDE

Begin with gratitude.

Regardless of whether the ending was your decision or not—whether you were laid off, did not want the relationship to end, or the situation was completely out of your control, such as an accident, an unexpected medical diagnosis, or the death of a loved one—it is important to create space to be thankful.

Be grateful for what you lived, what you learned, and the time shared.

Nothing comes into our lives by chance; there is always a reason and a lesson behind it.

You may write phrases such as:

• “Thank you for helping me grow as a person…”
• “Thank you for the job that provided stability and learning…”
• “Thank you for the beautiful moments we shared…”

It is normal for difficult emotions to arise, especially when there was pain, anger, or a sense of injustice. You may think:

“But that person hurt me,” or “I didn’t want this to end.”

Remember: this is personal work. You do not need to call, text, or say this directly to anyone. Gratitude does not justify what happened; it helps you heal and close the cycle.

2. ASKING FOR FORGIVENESS 

Recognizing our mistakes is an act of courage.

Consciously or unconsciously, directly or indirectly, we all make mistakes that can affect others. Perhaps we said something hurtful, failed to set boundaries, or contributed—intentionally or not—to the situation coming to an end.

This step is about acknowledging your part, accepting your human limitations, and asking for forgiveness.

This is not about blaming yourself, but about looking at yourself with honesty and compassion.

Once again, remember: this process is for you, to bring closure and emotional relief.

3. FORGIVE THE OTHER

This is often one of the most challenging steps—and also one of the most liberating.

Forgiving does not mean minimizing what happened or justifying the pain. It means choosing to release the emotional weight you have been carrying.

You can make a list and write:

• “I forgive you for…”

Allow yourself to write everything:

• “I forgive you for making me feel alone when you left…”
• “I forgive you for making me doubt myself after I was let go from my job…”
• “I forgive you for the aggression…”
• “I forgive you for leaving too soon and causing this pain…”

Write with detail and without censoring yourself. This is your safe space.

4. SAY WHAT YOU FEEL

After expressing gratitude, asking for forgiveness, and beginning to forgive, we enter a deeper level of emotional awareness.

Here, you can express everything you feel: love, sadness, anger, longing, disappointment, or fear.

Some examples may be:

• “I didn’t want to end things because I love you…”
• “I miss you and I was happy by your side…”
• “I truly enjoyed working here…”
• “Your departure hurts me deeply and I feel very sad…”
• “I felt betrayed and disappointed…”

Allow yourself to express everything that was left unsaid.

Unexpressed emotions tend to get stuck inside us and, over time, can cause harm.

Write as if a close friend were sharing their feelings with you, and look at yourself with love, patience, and compassion. Cry if you need to. Feeling, observing, and allowing emotions to surface is also healing.

5. SAYING GOODBYE

Closure is completed with a conscious goodbye.

This is not a “see you later” or a “maybe someday.” A goodbye is clear, firm, and loving. It represents the end of a chapter.

The word goodbye comes from “God be with you,” implying letting go, surrendering, and offering a blessing. For some, it means trusting the closure to a higher power; for others, it simply means accepting that something has ended.

Saying goodbye allows you to move forward.

Reflect and Connect with Yourself

• What situation in your life do you need to close today?
• Which step has been the most difficult for you?
• Which one felt the easiest?

Closure does not mean forgetting—it means integrating what was lived and moving forward with greater peace.

Lisethe Salcido, LPC-A, works virtually and in our Flower Mound and North Dallas offices. She is fluent in both English and Spanish.